Saturday, April 07, 2007

What Every Man Should Know

  1. Nobody actually eats the edible panties.
  2. No matter how furtive or quick the glance, a woman always knows when you're looking at her breasts.
  3. Never ask a woman why she's mad at you - she will only get madder for your not knowing.
  4. "Menage a trois" is French for "in your dreams."
  5. A good woman is as excited about a gift that costs nothing as she is about a gift that costs a lot. The perfect , quirky gift that shows you've been listening is worth 2x the value of anything you'd find at Tiffany's.
  6. If you're buying her a sex toy, do not presume she wants the biggest one... most likely she does not. Remember, re-chargeable batteries; the gift that keeps on giving.

8 said...:

Winnipeg-osis said...

Rules to live by.

Oddly enough, I've had some experience with #4 on your list. Way back when, on two occasions, my wife and I were approached by men who obviously hadn't read the rule. We declined both times. These incidents happened a couple of years apart, but in the same bar...which we haven't visited since.

#2 has been a struggle lately. I've moved from a job where not having much to look at made following the rule easy, to a new job where making eye contact can be a real challenge. Hopefully, I've managed.

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30-Something Girl said...

Not! I am laughing and your comment. I can just imagine this happening to you.

By the way, if there is someone out there that breaks rule #1 email me.

Trish said...

I like #5 the best. That's so me.

Desperately Seeking Gina said...

...great list!

rechargeable batteries are the greatest thing, aren't they ;) B.O.B loves them!

gina

30-Something Girl said...

Gina - I just knew you were going to say that Thom broke rule 1... Ha Ha Ha!

Trish - I completely agree.

Desperately Seeking Gina said...

lol...if edible panties were tv dinners....thom would need the hungry man version...

ohhh..this is getting out of control!

30-Something Girl said...

Long Live the Thom!