Call a plumber...I just pissed away 12 years and I want them back

Okay. Am I damaged goods? When the "depressive fog" comes rolling in I look in the mirror and just see 12 years gone. What do I have to show for it? A great house with no family in it. A hairstyle he liked, though I hated it. Hell up until 2 weeks ago, I did not even grocery shop for myself.

Okay so did I piss away 12 years?

No. I am 30-something but on the young end. I am going to work at being comfortable with who I am. I should have done this while he was here, not waiting on life's shit to have a Dr. Phil moment. I am letting my hair grow back. I used to have great hair. Okay so it was 80's hair, but hell I love the 80's. Man, I can remember when he dressed like Don Johnson from Miami Vice. Oh wait, this is about me. Thank goodness for Sex in the City or I would be so emotionally unhealthy right now.

It's all about me...whoever that is.

I just look at these pictures and I feel tired. No, I don't need anyone in my life. I can do this on my own, but what if I just maybe feel like ever going out again? By the time I ever feel like having sex again I'll be on the top end of 30-something. What do I say? I can see it now... Hi, I'm Stacy. Divorced. Twin Girls. Trust issues. Men are all assholes. Damaged goods....I mean damn ... I would run far away from me. Damn that asshole - forever was supposed to be forever. Whatever happened to just falling in love and staying married.

I think I'll just go re-charge my batteries.