He's Gone For Good

Well,

I came back from New York, excited to tell him all about my dream trip. I think I knew something was wrong when I walked in the door. He just isn't in this marriage and has not been for a long time. How could I have let things go bad for so long?

The next day, he tells me he's leaving. He's gone for good. He moved out this weekend. I told him if he goes, it's permanent. He left without looking back.

He says the kids stress him out and he's tired of the fighting. Well, yes I am too, but I can't and won't just leave my family.

At first I cried and cried. Then I got mad. Now I am numb. I can't feel anything. I can't decide if this is good or bad. I think I just need time.

It sure would have felt better If I told him to go. This one blind-sided me.

When I feel a little better, I will post more about my New York trip. I can't belive he's gone.